Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors from year 1960 to 2020 in United States.
It can be clearly seen from the given information that, in 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector were 15 million, which is highest, then it follow increasing trend in 1980 it reaches at 20 million jobs, from 1980 decrease slightly to 13 million jobs in 2020. The retail sector follow increasing trend in all period, in 1960 about 5 millions jobs in retail rector but with increment it goes to 16 million jobs in 2020.
Regarding the remaining information, the jobs in agriculture sectors were 6 million in 1960, but it decrease in all time at reaches at 3 million jobs in 2020. Moreover, jobs in healthcare were about 3 million in 1960, but it gets high increment and reaches at about 15 million in 2020.
overall, the jobs in healthcare and retail goes up in all period, but jobs in manufacturing and agriculture sector were low at the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for 1960 and 2020, which is a good start. However, the overview is somewhat weak; while you mention the general trends, it lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. The description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate, as the graph shows it peaking around 1980 before declining, but your phrasing 'it follow increasing trend in 1980' is confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that the main features (such as the cross-over points or the most dramatic growth) are highlighted more distinctly in the overview, and ensure data points are reported with greater precision.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'in 1960' and 'in 2020'. Transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt, and the flow could be improved by using more varied linking words (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Meanwhile'). The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within the paragraphs could be more sophisticated to better connect the data points rather than simply listing them.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'increasing trend,' 'gets high increment,' and 'low.' There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'retail rector' (likely a typo for 'sector') and 'gets high increment,' which is not standard English. To improve, try to incorporate more precise verbs and nouns related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'surged,' 'plummeted,' or 'a significant rise.' Expanding your range of descriptive language will help you convey the information more professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, 'number of jobs... were 15 million' should be 'was 15 million,' and 'it decrease in all time' should be 'it decreased over the entire period.' Additionally, there are missing articles, such as 'in United States' (should be 'in the United States'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are persistent. You should focus on mastering basic sentence structures and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article placement to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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