Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph depicts the informtion realed to the economy of different sectors jobs such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture asa well as healthcare from year 1960 to 2020.

Firstly, the demands of retail and healthcare jobs were increased from six decades rapidly such as retailing jobs were at approximately 6 millions in year 1960 which inclined upto nearly 10% in upcoming four decades . On the other hand, there were only 2 millions of jobs related to healthcare in starting year but iit increased highly and went at 12 millions in the year 2020. Moreover, in next two decades the number of retail jobs were slightly grown with only 1% and met with the healthcare proportion in last given year at 16 percent.

Despite this, the proportion of two remaning jobs were declining in given years

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the content is incomplete; while you mention the growth of retail and healthcare, you fail to describe the trends for the other two sectors, merely stating they were 'declining' without providing any data or comparison. The overview is missing, and the data interpretation is inconsistent, with confusing references to percentages and millions. To improve, ensure you cover all categories presented in the graph and provide a clear summary of the main trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction that paraphrases the prompt effectively, and the lack of a concluding overview makes the progression of ideas difficult to follow. While some cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand' are used, they are often applied to poorly developed ideas. Paragraphing is insufficient, as the response is essentially one block of text. To improve, use clear paragraph breaks for the introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. There are several spelling errors, such as 'inforamtion', 'realed', 'asa', and 'iit'. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'grown' without demonstrating a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'fluctuated'). The use of 'inclined upto' is an incorrect collocation for describing graph trends. Focus on learning specific terminology for data reporting and proofread your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'demands... were increased' and 'number of retail jobs were slightly grown'. The sentence structure is often awkward, particularly the phrase 'met with the healthcare proportion in last given year at 16 percent'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. To improve, practice using a wider variety of sentence structures and focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding tense consistency and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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