Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Here we can see the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US [redacted phone]. Firstly if we look at the manufacturing sector, the number of job is 15 million in 1960, but is is increasing in 1980 then again it is decreasing in a drastic way. Then if we talk about the retail sector, it is increasing from 1960 to 2020 in a increasing rate. Thirdly if we talk about the Agriculture sector, it is decreasing.. the major decreasing duration is from 1960 to 1980. Lastly if we talk about the Healthcare sector, it is increasing very fastly. So from the graph we can see that the Retail and Healthcare sectors are rising and there is a high chance to get a job in this two sectors, then again the other two sectors like Manufacturing and Agriculture there are a huge shortage of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the four sectors, the analysis is superficial and lacks a clear overview of the trends. You have not provided specific data points to support your descriptions, such as the starting or ending figures for the sectors. The conclusion includes personal opinion ('high chance to get a job'), which is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, ensure you include an overview paragraph that highlights the main trends and incorporate specific data from the graph to support your comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks proper paragraphing, which is essential for a clear structure. The use of cohesive devices is repetitive and mechanical, relying heavily on 'Firstly', 'Then', 'Thirdly', and 'Lastly'. The flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the lack of a clear introduction and separate overview paragraph makes the progression difficult to follow. To improve, group your ideas into logical paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two body paragraphs for detailed comparisons. Use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'increasing' and 'decreasing' without variation. There are also errors in word formation, such as 'fastly' (which is not a word; use 'rapidly' instead) and 'in a increasing rate'. The phrasing is often simplistic, which prevents you from achieving a higher band. To improve, try to use more precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and ensure you use the correct word forms in your sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammar contains several errors that occasionally impede the flow of the text. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the number of job is') and tense usage ('it is increasing in 1980'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly the use of double periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using a mix of simple and complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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