Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the US based occupation in different sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows the number of jobs in agriculture and retail sector increased between the year 960 and 2020. However, the vaccancies in manufacturing and healthcare sector declined over the given period. Additionally, manfacturing sectors shows the maximum number of jobs in the initial year.
In detail, between 1960 to 1980, the vccancies in manufacturing and reatil sector rose to 20% and 10% respectievely. Likewise, the number jobs in helathcare sectors went up to 5%. In contrast, the figures in agriculture sectors decresed around 2% over the 20 years.
From 1980 to 2020, the availability of jobs in manufacturing sector dropped drastically nearly by 7%. On the other hand, availability of jobs in retail and healthcare sector increased significantly from 10% and 5% respectively, and both reached at 16%. Furthermore, the digits in agriculture setors remain relatively stable for the four decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying main features and trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing jobs declined over the period, yet the graph shows a different trend. Additionally, the claim that agriculture increased between 1960 and 2020 contradicts the visual data provided. While you attempt to compare sectors, the misinterpretation of the data points leads to a failure to accurately report the main features. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written statements with the specific data points on the axes and legend before finalizing your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Additionally', 'In contrast', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical progression of your argument is supported by accurate data interpretation.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You use a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as 'illustrates', 'sectors', 'economy', 'vacancies', and 'drastically'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'vaccancies', 'manfacturing', 'reatil', 'respectievely', 'helathcare', 'decresed', and 'setors'. These errors are frequent and occasionally distract the reader. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary, the spelling mistakes and occasional word choice issues (e.g., 'digits' instead of 'figures' or 'data') limit the score. Proofreading your work for spelling accuracy is essential to improve your lexical resource score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'US based occupation' (should be 'US-based occupations'), 'manufacturing sectors shows' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'reached at 16%' (incorrect preposition usage). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and consistent tense usage when describing trends over time. Increasing the number of error-free sentences will significantly improve your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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