Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the US based occupation in different sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows the number of jobs in agriculture and healthcare sectors increased between the year 1960 and 2020. However, the vacancies in manufacturing and agriculture sectors declined over the given period. Additionally, manufacturing sectors shows the maximum number of jobs in the initial year.
In detail, between 1960 to 1980, the vacancies in manufacturing and retail sector rose to 20% and 10% respectively. Likewise, the number jobs in healthcare sectors went up to 5%. In contrast, the figures in agriculture sectors decreased around 2% over the 20 years.
From 1980 to 2020, the availability of jobs in manufacturing sector dropped drastically nearly by 7%. On the other hand, availability of jobs in retail and healthcare sector increased significantly from 10% and 5% respectively, and both reached at 16%. Furthermore, the digits in agriculture sectors remain relatively stable for the four decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing and agriculture declined over the period, but the graph shows manufacturing dropped while agriculture remained relatively stable. Furthermore, you mention 'vacancies' instead of 'number of jobs,' which changes the meaning of the data. While you attempt to select main features, the misinterpretation of the trends and the confusion between sectors (e.g., stating manufacturing had the maximum jobs in the initial year when the graph shows agriculture was higher) prevents a higher score. Ensure you carefully cross-reference the data points with your written descriptions to maintain accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'However,' 'In detail,' and 'In contrast' to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally mechanical. To improve, focus on ensuring that the transition between sentences flows more naturally and that the logical connection between the data points is clearly articulated to support your analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You use a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main ideas, such as 'illustrates,' 'declined,' 'drastically,' and 'relatively stable.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as using 'vacancies' instead of 'employment numbers' or 'jobs,' and 'digits' when referring to percentages. These choices are slightly unnatural in this context. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations related to data description, such as 'experienced a downward trend' or 'remained constant,' rather than relying on simpler phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'US based occupation' (should be 'US-based occupations'), 'manufacturing sectors shows' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'reached at 16%' (incorrect preposition). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the text. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing statistical changes. Proofreading for these minor slips would help elevate your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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