Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the US- based occupation in different sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows the number of jobs in agriculture and healthcare sectors increased between the year 1960 and 2020. However, the number of jobs in manufacturing sectors declined over the given period and the figure for agriculture sectors remained relatively static. Additionally, manufacturing sectors recorded the maximum number of jobs for the majority of given period.
In detail, between 1960 and 1980, the number of jobs in manufacturing and retail sectors rose to 20% and 10% respectively. Likewise, the number of jobs in healthcare sectors went up to 5%. In contrast, the figures in agriculture sectors decreased by 2% over the 20 years.
From 1980 to 2020, the availability of jobs in the manufacturing sector dropped drastically nearly by 7%. On the other hand, availability of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly from 10% and 5% respectively, and both reached 16%. Furthermore, the figures in agriculture sectors remained relatively stable for the four decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing jobs rose to 20% between 1960 and 1980, which is not supported by the visual data provided. Furthermore, the claim that agriculture remained 'relatively static' contradicts your later statement that it 'decreased by 2%'. The task requires accurate reporting of data; misinterpreting the figures significantly impacts the quality of the response. To improve, ensure that your descriptions of the data points are precise and consistent throughout the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'However', 'Additionally', and 'In contrast' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by the factual inconsistencies mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the two time periods (1960-1980 and 1980-2020) could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure helps the reader follow the intended argument, even if the data interpretation is flawed.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms such as 'illustrates', 'recorded', 'drastically', and 'relatively stable'. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'US-based occupation' (which should refer to the sectors or employment figures rather than the occupation itself). You also repeat the word 'sectors' frequently, which makes the writing feel slightly repetitive. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure that collocations are used more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'the US-based occupation in different sectors' is awkward; it should be 'employment in different sectors'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'nearly by 7%' instead of 'by nearly 7%'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the general meaning, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on sentence variety and proofreading for small errors would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.