Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the information regarding the number of employment opportunities in four sectors in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail displayed a significant growth over the years and ended up as the joint most opportunities providing departments. While, with the passage of time, jobs in agriculture sector fell continuously and recorded as the sector with least number of jobs amoung other all sectors.

In 1960, healthcare and agriculture stood at 2 and 6 millions, respectively. Both sectors recorded the consistent growth over the period of time, rose to approximately 16 million jobs each in 2020 and became the the joint-most job providing sectors, left behind the manufacturing sector.

Agriculture sector stood at 6 million jobs in 1960 but the number of jobs dramatically declined to only half (3 million) and then further fell to 2 million by the end of peroid (2020). On the other hand, manufacturing sector recorded the sharp growth in job count from 15 million to 20 million between 1960 and 1980 and become the only sector to touch the 20 million mark. But after touching to it peak, number of jobs dramatically fell over the years and ended up with 13 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant factual inaccuracies that undermine the task achievement. For instance, you state that healthcare and agriculture both started at 2 and 6 million respectively and grew to 16 million, which contradicts the provided data. Furthermore, you misidentify the sectors in your summary, claiming healthcare and retail were the joint leaders, while the graph shows healthcare and manufacturing/retail trends differently. While you attempt to report the main features, the data interpretation is inconsistent with the visual information provided. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference your written figures with the graph axes and labels to avoid misrepresenting the data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'While', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'recorded as the sector with least number of jobs amoung other all sectors'. The use of referencing is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical relationship between sentences is always clear and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment opportunities', 'significant growth', and 'dramatically declined'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'joint most opportunities providing departments' and 'touching to it peak'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, work on using more natural collocations and ensure that you are using adjectives and adverbs correctly to describe trends. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and nouns will also help you achieve a more academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'the the joint-most', 'amoung other all sectors', and 'recorded the sharp growth'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'after touching to it peak'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your general meaning, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy of the response. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article consistency will help you improve your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.