Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph illustrates the US- based occupation in different sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased between the year 1960 and 2020. However, the number of jobs in agriculture sectors declined over the given period and the figure for manufacturing sectors increased initially before decline after reaching a peak in 1980 . Additionally, manufacturing sectors recorded the maximum number of jobs for the majority of given period.
In detail, between 1960 and 1980, the number of jobs in manufacturing and retail sectors rose to 20% and 10% respectively. Likewise, the number of jobs in healthcare sectors went up to 5%. In contrast, the figures in agriculture sectors decreased by 2% over the 20 years.
From 1980 to 2020, the availability of jobs in the manufacturing sector dropped drastically nearly by 7%. On the other hand, availability of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly from 10% and 5% respectively, and both reached 16%. Furthermore, the figures in agriculture sectors remained relatively stable for the four decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the trends and identifies the main features of the graph. You successfully highlight the growth in retail and healthcare, the decline in agriculture, and the peak-and-decline pattern of manufacturing. However, the data reporting is somewhat inaccurate; for instance, you mention percentages (e.g., 'rose to 20%') which do not appear to align with the actual units or values provided in the graph. While you cover all sectors, the precision of the data interpretation is a significant weakness. To reach a higher band, ensure that the figures cited accurately reflect the visual information provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'However', 'Additionally', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two time periods (1960-1980 and 1980-2020). While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The referencing is clear, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'declined', 'initially', and 'significantly'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'US-based occupation' (which should refer to the number of jobs or employment) and 'the figure for manufacturing sectors' (which is slightly awkward). You attempt to use some less common vocabulary, but the inaccuracies in data reporting slightly undermine the precision of your lexical choices. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would further improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased between the year 1960 and 2020'. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'decline after reaching a peak' (should be 'declined') and 'the majority of given period' (missing 'the'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article errors throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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