Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line chart illustrate the information of amount of jobs in different sectors of economy in United States from year 1960 to 2020.The data is measured in the millions.
To begin with, in year 1960, about 15 millions jobs were in manufacturing sector followed by agriculture and retail around 6 millions each . There was lowest number of jobs in healthcare nearly 2 millions . In year 1980, jobs in manufacturing was increased by 5 millions . Jobs in retail and healthcare was also increased by 4 millions and 3 millions . while jobs in agriculture was decreased to 3 millions.
In year 2000 , jobs in manufacturing decreased to 17 millions . While jobs in retail and healthcare increased by 5 millions and 6 millions. agriculture show no change . In year 2020, jobs in manufacturing and agriculture decreased slightly by 4 millions and 1 million . While jobs i retail and healthcare increased by 1 million and 5 million .
Overall, it can be seen that in first three years , manufacturing had the most amount of jobs but in last year retail and healthcare took the lead .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors over the given period. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, relying on a year-by-year listing of figures rather than a more integrated comparison of trends. While the overview is present, it is slightly inaccurate, as it refers to 'first three years' instead of the first three decades. To reach a higher band, you should focus on grouping data points to highlight significant shifts, such as the decline of manufacturing versus the rise of service-based sectors, rather than simply reporting individual data points for each decade.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In year 2000', and 'Overall'. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by repetitive sentence structures and mechanical transitions. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression between sentences could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is functional but lacks the flexibility required for higher bands. Improving the variety of linking phrases and ensuring that the relationship between ideas is more explicitly stated would enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the reader to understand the trends described. You use sector-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', and 'retail' correctly. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive, with frequent use of 'jobs' and 'increased/decreased'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'most amount of jobs' (should be 'highest number of jobs'). To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise collocations related to data description.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'chart illustrate', 'jobs... was increased') and article usage (e.g., 'in year 1960', 'in last year'). These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To achieve a higher score, you need to demonstrate better control over basic grammar, specifically verb tenses and articles, and attempt more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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