Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the given graph illustrate information about the number of employment opertunity in four sector of us economy in between year 1960 and 2020.

overall, the given information from the graph clearly depect that, manufacturing jobs has domination in job market most of time, whereas there is an clear down trend in agriculture related jobs.

to commence with, manufacturing sector had an major role in us job market, start from 1960, with around 15 million and then rise till 1980, by the end of this year, there are 5 million more jobs created total of 20 million, after that, reatail industry grow with very decent numbers with only 6 million jobs avalable in 1960 and then a upward trend till 2020, and reach 16 million mark in that year.

on other side, healthcare sector grow exponentily while only having 3 million jobs in 1960 after that the rise began and in 2020 there is 16 million jobs in healthcare sector. but the one sector did not perform well in that time period the agriculture from 1960 having 6 million jobs and in 2020 with only 3 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the general trends, the data reporting is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'around 15 million' is acceptable, but the description of the manufacturing peak lacks specific detail). To reach a higher band, ensure that all key features are supported by accurate data points from the graph. You have successfully identified the main trends, such as the dominance of manufacturing and the decline in agriculture, which satisfies the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use basic cohesive devices like 'to commence with' and 'on other side' to signal transitions. However, the flow is sometimes mechanical, and some linking phrases are used incorrectly (e.g., 'on other side' should be 'on the other hand'). Additionally, the internal cohesion within sentences is occasionally strained due to grammatical errors, which makes the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed at times. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help achieve a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trend', 'grow exponentially', and 'domination'. However, there are several spelling errors ('opertunity', 'depect', 'avalable', 'exponentily') and word choice issues ('very decent numbers' is too informal for an academic report). These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, but they do limit the precision and sophistication of your writing. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and using more precise collocations for describing data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing jobs has domination'), missing articles ('in four sector of us economy'), and incorrect verb tenses ('the given graph illustrate'). While these errors are noticeable and occur frequently, they do not significantly impede communication. To progress, you should focus on proofreading for basic errors such as pluralisation, article usage, and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.