Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph reveals the information of the number of jobs about the four sectors of the economy of the US between 1960 and 2020.According to the statement.

Overall, the US number of the jobs in the four sectors of the economy in the US 1960 -2020.The US jobs is millions, and the number one of the country. the first of the manufacturing and the second of the Retail and third of the Agriculture and last one is Health care.

First of all the first of the Manufacturing in 1960, 15% to up in the 1980,20%and down into the 2000 17% and very down in the 2020 13%. and second of the Retail in 1960 6%,is up of the jobs and 1980 10% to up to jobs in 2000 in 15% and 2020,in 17%.

Second of all, The third of the Agriculture 1960 in 7% and down into 1980 in 3% and up to the 2000 in 4% and down inti the 2020 in 2%.last one of the Healthcare and the 1960 in 3% and up to the 2020 in 17%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task by describing the trends in four sectors. However, the information provided is often inaccurate or confusingly presented. For example, the data points mentioned (e.g., '15% to up in the 1980, 20%') do not clearly reflect the trends shown in the graph. The overview is poorly constructed and fails to highlight the main features or significant trends, such as the dramatic rise of the healthcare sector or the decline of manufacturing. The response lacks a clear summary of the overall patterns, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the main information.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'First of all' and 'Second of all', which do not effectively link the ideas. The referencing is unclear, and the sentences are often fragmented or lack proper connection to the previous points. The overall structure is disjointed, and the lack of clear transitions between the sectors makes the information difficult to follow. The response lacks a logical flow, which hinders the reader's understanding of the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'up', 'down', and 'number of jobs', failing to use more precise language required for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined', or 'remained stable'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'very down' and 'the first of the manufacturing'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information accurately, and the repetition of phrases like 'the number of jobs' and 'in the 1960' indicates a lack of lexical variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There is a lack of control over basic sentence structures, with many sentences being fragments or run-on sentences. Punctuation is inconsistent, and there are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage (e.g., 'down into the 2000 17%'). The student uses only simple structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty or unclear. The high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read and understand, significantly impacting the overall quality of the writing.

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