Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of occupation in four different categories of the state of US from 1960 and 2020. The graph is calibrated in millions.

Overall, manufacturing recorded the highest number of jobs , while agriculture had the least. It can be seen that all the distinct working sectors were fluctuated gradually by the end of the period.

To begin with, retail made up around 6 millions of people during 1960 and then steadily grew during 1980 and 2000 which was 10 millions and 15 millions respectively. However, the number of people were working in healthcare sector started at around 3 millions during given first period and then rose subsequently and reached around 16 millions during end of the period.

Furthermore, manufacturing constituted at 15 million in 1960 and then peaked at 20 million in 1980 which was the dominant source of job in the US. Agriculture was started at approximately 6 millions initially, before declining around 4 millions and 3 millions during 1980 and 2000 respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. You successfully highlight the peak for manufacturing and the overall growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that all sectors 'fluctuated gradually' is not entirely supported by the data, as some sectors show clear, consistent trends rather than fluctuations. Additionally, the data points for 1960 and 2020 are mentioned, but the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant differences or trends rather than describing them as uniform fluctuations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is grouped logically by sector. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid rather than relying on standard transition words at the start of every paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'calibrated', 'constituted', and 'dominant source'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of occupation' (should be 'occupations') and 'the state of US' (should be 'the US'). The phrase 'made up around 6 millions of people' is also slightly awkward; 'employed 6 million people' would be more precise. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for data reporting and ensure pluralization is consistent when discussing millions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'all the distinct working sectors were fluctuated' (passive voice error), 'number of people were working' (subject-verb agreement), and 'Agriculture was started' (incorrect passive construction). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, review the use of active versus passive voice and ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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