Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided linear chart illustrates the figure of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in America from 1960 to 2020
Overall, it is vivid that the number of jobs in healthcare shows an upward trend. While the agriculture sector shows an downward trend.
Having a fleeting glance, in the manufacturing sector 15 millions jobs in 1960 then it increased slightly 80 millions jobs in 1980. Whereas the figure of manufacturing jobs decreased rapidly and reached at nearly 12 millions. Additionally, the number of jobs in retail sector was 6 millions then it inclined rapidly and went 15 millions in 2000. it increased slightly and became approximately 15.5 millions.
Probing further, the number of jobs in agriculture sector was 6 millions in 1960 then it dropped gradually and became 2.5 millions job in 1980. Whereas it remained stable till the final year about 1.3 millions job. Moreover, the figure of jobs in healthcare sector it shows an upward trend in every year and reached at 15.2 millions job from 1 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For instance, you state manufacturing reached 80 million jobs in 1980, which is not supported by the graph, and the description of the retail sector is confusing. While you attempt to highlight key features, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the figures cited accurately reflect the visual information provided and focus on comparing the sectors rather than just listing data points for each one individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Having a fleeting glance' and 'Probing further' are not appropriate for an academic report. Additionally, the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the sentence structure becomes repetitive. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in a natural, academic context would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', and 'remained stable'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the figure of jobs' (should be 'the number of jobs') and 'it inclined rapidly' (inclined is not typically used for numerical data in this way). Some phrasing is also unnatural, such as '15 millions jobs'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends and ensure correct pluralisation of numerical values.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the agriculture sector shows an downward trend'), incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'reached at nearly'), and missing articles. The sentence structure in the third paragraph is particularly fragmented, making it difficult to follow the progression of the data. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing 'a' or 'the' and incorrect verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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