Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The chart illustrates the data about the proportion of jobs in 4 sectors of the economy in the America between 1960 and after 60 years.
Overall, it is clear that the retail and healthcare section depicts the upward trend over the years, while agriculture sector inspected a small decrease over the period. Similarly, manufacture sector showed a drop after small rise.
As per the chart, manufacture sector was increased from 15 million to 20 million jobs in the starting 2 decades, then it continuously falls and reached at around 13 million jobs in 2020. Moreover, approximately 6 millions jobs were had in agriculture sector in 1960, which was decreased to about 4 million in 1980. Next, it gradually drops and reached at 3 million in 2020.
Probing ahead, the retail sector had a steadily increase from just above 5 million to 15 million jobs between 1960 to 2000, then it almost saw 1 million incline in the year 2000. Simultaneously, healthcare sector continuously rising from nearly 2 million to around 16 million jobs over the given period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you mention the manufacturing sector 'continuously falls' after 1980, but the graph shows a more complex pattern. Additionally, the description of the retail sector's growth is slightly confusing, and the claim that the healthcare sector was 'continuously rising' is accurate, but the specific figures could be more precise. To improve, ensure you double-check the data points against the graph and provide a more accurate summary of the key features, such as the crossover points or the most significant changes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Moreover', and 'Simultaneously' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'it almost saw 1 million incline'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the transition between the description of different sectors is smoother.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'inspected a small decrease' (instead of 'experienced' or 'showed') and '1 million incline' (instead of 'increase'). You rely on basic verbs like 'falls' and 'rising'. To reach a higher band, try to use more varied and precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'a marginal decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'the America' (should be 'the US'), 'section depicts' (should be 'sectors depict'), and '6 millions jobs were had' (passive voice misuse). There are also issues with verb tenses and prepositions, such as 'reached at' (should be 'reached'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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