Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided line graph highlights the information about the count of jobs in manufactering,retail, agriculture and healthcare sectoresof the economy in the US from 1996 to 2020.
Overall, it is lucid that in sector of retal and healthcare jobs were grew steadily whereas, the figure of mainufacturing jobs fell down dramaticalyin 1980.moreover, agriculture jobs were remained stable from 19980 to 2026.
By analysin , the graph in detail it can be clearly seen that in 1960 manufacturing had 15 millions job while, retal had approximatelly 6 millions jobs in US which become 10 millions in 1980. whereas, there was rapid growth in the mainufacturing sector in upcoming year after that it was fell down drametically and reach 12 millions job in 2020.moreover, retal faced a significant growth after 1980 and reach 15 millions jobs in final year.
probing further,agriculture had 6 millions job in first year wheras healthcare had at about 3 millions job in the beigning year. additionally, agriculture sector fell down dramatically and reach 2millions jobs in 1980 and than it was had minuate difference . furthermore, healhcare jobs grew rapidly and reach 15 as per as retal jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you mention agriculture remained stable until 2026, which is outside the graph's timeframe, and the figures cited (e.g., '15 millions job') are often imprecise or misread from the graph. While you attempt to highlight main features, the lack of precision in data interpretation and the inclusion of incorrect dates hinder the clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the years and figures with the visual data provided and avoid speculating beyond the given timeline.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'probing further' or 'than it was had minuate difference'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'moreover' and 'additionally', they do not always create a smooth flow between sentences. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help your writing appear more natural and logical.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'manufactering', 'sectoresof', 'retal', and 'dramaticalyin'. These errors, combined with awkward phrasing like 'the figure of manufacturing jobs fell down', indicate a lack of control over word choice and spelling. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the high frequency of errors and the reliance on basic descriptors limit your ability to convey information with precision. Focusing on accurate spelling and learning standard collocations for describing trends (e.g., 'a significant increase' rather than 'significant growth') would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('agriculture jobs were remained'), incorrect verb tenses ('it was fell down'), and missing articles. Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'it can be clearly seen that in 1960 manufacturing had 15 millions job while, retal had approximatelly 6 millions jobs'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To reach a higher band, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent verb tense usage when describing past trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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