Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in usa in the year 1960 and 2020.
overall, it is clear that the number of jobs in healthcare shows upward trend throughout the given time period While, the agriculture recorded the downward trend during the time period.
Analyzing the line graph in detail, manufacturing sector stood at 15 millions jobs in 1960. after that rose rapidly at 20 millions in 1980. then decreased significantly from 16 to 13. In retail jobs were lowest number people who work in retail at 6 millions, then surged dramatically and finished at 15 millions in 2020.
Probing further, the number of job in healthcare were show negligible at 2 millions in 1960. Afterthat increased steadily throughout the given time period from 11 millions to 15 millions as well as same retial, In contrast, agriculture stood at 6 millions in 1960. then decreased rapidly throughout the given time period and finished at 2 millions in last year of the graph. Agriculture recorded the flactuation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, stating it 'decreased significantly from 16 to 13' without clear reference to the timeline, and the claim that agriculture 'recorded the fluctuation' is vague and unsupported by the graph. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data reporting and some confusing descriptions prevent this from reaching a higher band. The response covers all four sectors, but the analysis lacks the necessary depth and accuracy required for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward. Phrases like 'Afterthat' (spelled incorrectly) and 'Probing further' are used to transition between ideas, but the flow between sentences is frequently disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the phrase 'as well as same retial' which lacks grammatical connection to the previous clause. While there is an overall progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive sentence structure hinder the logical flow of the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There are several spelling errors, such as 'retial' and 'flactuation', and some awkward collocations like 'number of job in healthcare were show negligible'. The range of vocabulary is limited to basic descriptors like 'rose', 'decreased', and 'surged'. To improve, you should aim to use more precise reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'plummeted', 'gradual incline', or 'fluctuated', while ensuring accurate spelling and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('number of job... were show'), missing articles ('in usa'), and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences or fragments, such as 'In retail jobs were lowest number people who work in retail at 6 millions'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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