Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in usa in the year 1960 and 2020.
overall, it is clear that the number of jobs in healthcare shows upward trend throughout the given time period While, the agriculture recorded the downward trend during the time period.
Analyzing the line graph in detail, manufacturing sector stood at 15 millions jobs in 1960. after that rose rapidly at 20 millions in 1980. then decreased significantly from 16 to 13. In retail jobs were lowest number people who work in retail at 6 millions, then surged dramatically and finished at 15 millions in 2020.
Probing further, the number of job in healthcare were show negligible at 2 millions in 1960. Afterthat increased steadily throughout the given time period from 11 millions to 15 millions as well as same retial, In contrast, agriculture stood at 6 millions in 1960. then decreased rapidly throughout the given time period and finished at 2 millions in last year of the graph. Agriculture recorded the flactuation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the upward trajectory of healthcare and retail against the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you mention manufacturing 'decreased significantly from 16 to 13', but the graph shows different figures. Additionally, the statement 'Agriculture recorded the flactuation' is not supported by the steady downward trend shown in the data. While you have addressed the task requirements, the lack of precision in data reporting and the misinterpretation of some trends prevent a higher score. Ensure you double-check the figures against the graph to provide a more accurate summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'overall', 'in detail', and 'in contrast' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by mechanical phrasing and awkward transitions, such as 'Afterthat' and 'as well as same retial'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence connects smoothly to the previous one without relying on repetitive structures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'surged dramatically', and 'negligible'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of job in healthcare were show negligible' and 'same retial'. Some vocabulary is used repetitively, and there are minor spelling errors like 'flactuation'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your word forms (e.g., nouns vs. adjectives) are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'number of job... were show'), missing articles ('in usa', 'in retail'), and incorrect punctuation. Sentence fragments, such as 'After that rose rapidly at 20 millions in 1980', lack a clear subject. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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