Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided linear chart illustrates the figures of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in America from 1960 to 2020

Overall, it is vivid that the number of jobs in healthcare shows an upward trend. While the agriculture sector shows an downward trend.

Having a fleeting glance, in the manufacturing sector 15 million jobs in 1960 then it increased slightly 80 million jobs in 1980. Whereas the figures of manufacturing jobs decreased rapidly and reached at nearly 12 million. Additionally, the number of jobs in retail sector was 6 million then it inclined rapidly and went 15 million in 2000. it increased slightly and became approximately 15.5 million.

Probing further, the number of jobs in agriculture sector was 6 million in 1960 then it dropped gradually and became 2.5 million job in 1980. Whereas it remained stable till the final year about 1.3 million job. Moreover, the figure of jobs in healthcare sector it shows an upward trend in every year and reached at 15.2 million job from 1 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For example, the claim that manufacturing increased to 80 million is a major misinterpretation of the graph's scale. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend is confusing, as it mentions a decrease to 12 million without clearly linking it to the timeline. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting the data points and the failure to make meaningful comparisons between sectors limits the effectiveness of the response. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately from the axes and that comparisons are explicitly stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Having a fleeting glance' and 'Probing further' are not appropriate for an academic report. Furthermore, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'it increased slightly and became approximately 15.5 million', where the subject is ambiguous. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed due to these issues with linking and referencing. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring clear subject-verb agreement will help the flow of the writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band score. There is some repetition of basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased'. The student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, but there are errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'vivid' instead of 'evident' or 'clear', and 'inclined' used incorrectly to mean 'increased'. Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'the figures of manufacturing jobs'. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of precise vocabulary related to trends and data reporting, and ensure collocations are accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in manufacturing sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('reached at'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('the number of jobs... it shows'). There are also punctuation errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters and missing full stops. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from being considered accurate. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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