Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Starting from the agriculture sector the number of jobs from the year 1960 to 2020 there we can see a clear decline in the jobs in this sector. The job ratio was not much higher from the start and it reaming nearly constant from year 1980 to 2020. In manufacturing sector there was a ride in the number of jobs from 1960 to 1980 but then the jobs ratio start declining after year 1980 and reach the lowest rate in 2020. Moving to third and fourth sector which are retail and healthcare there is a clear rise inn the job ratio in these two sectors side by side and reaching the highest peak in the year 2020. Retail sector have high job ratio in america due to the age of technology and AI beacuse this gave rise to the marketing. Healthcare sector is also a hot topic nowadays and center of attention so this why it have high job ratio.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have included personal opinions and external knowledge (e.g., 'due to the age of technology and AI') which is not required in an Academic Task 1 report. The task requires an objective summary of the data provided, not an explanation of why these trends occurred. To improve, focus strictly on describing the data, such as comparing the starting and ending points or noting the intersection of trends, rather than speculating on the causes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response lacks clear paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. While there is a basic logical sequence, the use of cohesive devices is limited and repetitive (e.g., 'Moving to third and fourth sector'). The text feels like a single block of information rather than a structured report. To improve, use clear paragraph breaks to separate the overview from the detailed analysis and employ a wider range of linking words such as 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your sentences more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You frequently use the phrase 'job ratio' incorrectly; 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures' would be more accurate. There are also spelling errors such as 'reaming' (remaining), 'ride' (rise), and 'inn' (in). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure you proofread for basic spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'there we can see a clear decline' is awkward, and 'this why it have high job ratio' contains subject-verb agreement errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you use articles (a/the) correctly before nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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