Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the eceonomy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
The X axis of the graph shows the number of jobs in millions and the Y axis of the graph represents the year from 1960 to 2020.
The manufacturing job is on the higher rank all the time and 15 million jobs was held in the US. In the starting year 1960 retail jobs had not much scope but with the passage of years it also has ascended from 5 to 15 million.Healthcare jobs was also at lower rank in the start but after some years it also reached to peak from 2.5 to 15 million. Now the job in the US which was on the lower scale all the time was agricultural jobs which never touched even 5 million from the year 1960 to 2020.
This was the information of the jobs in several sectors in the US from the year 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the analysis is superficial and lacks precision. For example, stating that manufacturing was 'on the higher rank all the time' is vague and does not accurately reflect the data trends. The description of the other sectors is also overly simplistic, failing to provide specific data points or meaningful comparisons between the sectors at different time intervals. The overview is missing, as the response does not highlight the overall patterns or the most significant changes across the 60-year period. To improve, you should focus on grouping data logically and providing more accurate, comparative descriptions of the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into short paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. The transition between sentences is often mechanical, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For instance, the phrase 'after some years' is repetitive and lacks precision. The paragraphing is also somewhat arbitrary, as the introduction and body are not clearly distinguished, and the concluding sentence is very brief. To improve, you should use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear, focused purpose.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts the quality of the analysis. Phrases like 'higher rank', 'lower rank', and 'not much scope' are imprecise and do not demonstrate the range required for higher bands. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'eceonomy' (spelling) and 'ascended' (which is not the most natural choice for describing job growth). To achieve a higher score, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a significant increase', or 'peaked'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Healthcare jobs was', 'manufacturing job is') and awkward phrasing ('15 million jobs was held'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of complex sentence structures and the frequency of basic errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and attempt to use more complex structures, such as relative clauses or passive voice, to describe the data more professionally.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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