Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the employment rate in four departments of the economy in the United states from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there is a significant growth in three sectors of the US in the previous 6 decades. Healthcare and retail industry soared sharply while the number of jobs in sector of agriculture dropped as compare to other sectors. Most importantly only manufacturing department reached at the highest number of jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Firstly, employment rate in the manufacturing sector was 15 million in 1960 , slightly increased in 1980 about 20 million and then dropped in 2020 from 20 to 13 million . Secondly, In 2020 jobs ratio in healthcare and retail sector stayed the same about 16 million. Number of jobs in agriculture and retail held steady in 1960, jobs in retail rapidly climbed in coming years comparing to agriculture.
Most importantly, only manufacturing department reached at highest or agriculture at lowest number of jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the task by identifying main trends, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state that healthcare and retail 'soared sharply,' yet the data shows these sectors had different trajectories. Additionally, the claim that 'only manufacturing department reached at the highest number of jobs' is confusing and does not accurately reflect the data trends over the 60-year period. While you attempt to select key features, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the repetition of the concluding sentence hinder the clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons are logically supported by the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is disrupted by repetitive information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly,' but these are used mechanically and do not always connect ideas effectively. The final paragraph repeats the information mentioned in the introduction and the body, which creates a circular structure rather than a cohesive summary. To reach a higher band, focus on grouping related data points together more logically and avoid repeating the same points in the conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear purpose and that transitions between sentences are smooth and purposeful.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'soared,' 'dropped,' and 'held steady,' which is positive. However, there are errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'employment rate in four departments' (sectors is more appropriate) and 'jobs ratio' (number of jobs is more accurate). There is also some repetition of basic vocabulary. To improve, try to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'remained constant,' and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'dropped in 2020 from 20 to 13 million' (missing articles/prepositions), 'as compare to' (should be 'compared to'), and 'reached at the highest' (the verb 'reach' does not take 'at'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing trends. Proofreading for basic errors in sentence construction will help you achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.