Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in US between 1960 to 2020
The manufacturing jobs and agriculture jobs have an inverse relationship from 1960 till 1980. As in 1960 there were around 15 million jobs available for manufacturing and is increasing steadily but in agriculture there was only around 6 million jobs available and is decreasing gradually till 1980 and then maintain a level till 2000 and then slightly decrease for another 10 years. Manufacturing jobs too decreases from 1980 to 2020.
Retail jobs and health care jobs have quite similar relationships and both increases from 1960 till 2020 but there was more jobs available in retailing as compared to health care.
Overall most of the jobs were in manufacturing in 1980 which was its peak point however very less jobs were in agriculture. But in retail and health care the the number of jobs have not fluctuated but increases with the same speed
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify some trends, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate (e.g., stating manufacturing jobs decreased from 1980 to 2020, while the graph shows a more complex pattern). The overview is placed at the end, which is acceptable, but it lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends, such as the dramatic rise of the service sectors compared to the decline of agriculture. To improve, ensure you accurately interpret the data points and provide a more comprehensive overview of the main features at the beginning of your report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between the description of the sectors and the overview is abrupt. Cohesive devices are limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'and' is used frequently to connect clauses). The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. To achieve a higher band, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'jobs', 'increase', and 'decrease' throughout the response. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'very less jobs', which should be 'very few jobs'. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'surpass', or 'steady growth'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the trends more effectively and demonstrate a better command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing jobs... is increasing'), incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'maintain a level'), and missing articles (e.g., 'in US'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with a lack of commas to separate clauses. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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