Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of US economy over the course of 60 years i.e. starting from 1960 and going to the year 2020. The four jobs consists of Manufacturing , Retail , Agriculture and Healthcare.
Talking about the jobs in the manufacturing sector it shows a rise but it could not sustain it for a long time and the number of jobs decrease over time. While jobs in 2 other sectors Retail and Healthcare skyrocketed over the course of time . Talking about the Jobs in Agriculture sector the graph shows a great descend throughout without showing any increase at all.
For the first 20 years from 1960 to 1980 the manufacturing sector showed a visible increase in jobs staring from 15 going all the way to 20 but coming to 2020 it keeps going down where it stand near 10 right now. The jobs Retail and Healthcare both started near 5 and crossed 15 in 2020 while jobs in Agriculture never showed increase where it started near 5 and reached near 1 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention that manufacturing 'could not sustain' its rise, you do not provide specific data points to support this effectively, and the description of the trends is a bit repetitive. To reach a higher band, ensure you include a clear overview that highlights the most significant differences (e.g., the contrast between the growth of service-related sectors and the decline of agriculture/manufacturing) rather than just listing trends sector by sector. More precise data referencing would also strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'Talking about the jobs' are used as a crutch to start new sentences, which makes the flow feel unnatural. Additionally, the transition between the overview and the specific data points could be smoother. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases such as 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Regarding the,' and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus to improve the logical progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. You rely on basic verbs like 'shows,' 'rise,' and 'decrease.' While these are accurate, they do not demonstrate a wide range of lexical items. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'great descend,' which is not standard English; 'significant decline' would be more appropriate. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'plummeted,' 'surged,' or 'remained stable,' and ensure you use them in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For example, 'The four jobs consists of' should be 'The four sectors consist of,' and 'it stand near 10' should be 'it stands near 10.' There are also issues with punctuation and capitalization, such as the inconsistent spacing before commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage (past tense for historical data) will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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