Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The linear graph demonstrates the countless jobs opportunities in the four distinct sectors in the US economy from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the most dominant factor in the initial was manufacturing, while the retail and agriculture had same staring stage, in contrast retail rose overstand the manufacturing.

To embark with, in 1960 the manufacturing reported the 15 million employments, that peaks to other 10 million in the 1980 after that plummeted by the two sectors reached at around 13 million in 2020.

Whereas the retail and agriculture starting point was 6 million in which the retail gradually grow 10 to 15 million touched up to 17 million at peak, meanwhile the agriculture factors decline throughout the period.

However, the healthcare sector represented the steady growth with just 2 million that shows 5 million in next two-decade, that reached to the 11 million jobs in the US GDP joint the retail market in the final year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a summary of the main trends, but the accuracy of the data reporting is inconsistent. While you identify the four sectors and the overall time frame, some descriptions of the data are unclear or inaccurate (e.g., 'peaks to other 10 million'). The overview is present but lacks clarity due to awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure that you clearly distinguish between the starting and ending points and highlight the most significant changes, such as the cross-over between sectors, with greater precision. The response covers all parts of the task, but the lack of clarity in data interpretation limits the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'To embark with' and 'in which the retail gradually grow'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward sentence construction, making it difficult to follow the logical flow of the data comparison. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'subsequently', 'in contrast to') would improve the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'countless jobs opportunities', 'dominant factor', and 'agriculture factors'. Some phrases are non-standard, which occasionally impedes the clarity of the information being presented. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend', rather than relying on basic verbs like 'shows' or 'grow'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail and agriculture had same staring stage'), incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'that peaks to'), and missing articles or prepositions. These errors are noticeable and occasionally make the meaning difficult to grasp. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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