Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line tracks the number of jobs in millions , of four sectors in the United States of the economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing had the highest number of jobs for most of the period whereas agriculture followed the opposite trend. Retail and healthcare had the increased trend in this 60-year period
In 1960, Manufacturing started with the highest jobs but with the little fluctuation of 20 million jobs it ended up on a dramatic fall to 13 million jobs in over this time period. In the Comparison agriculture also has the downward trend like manufacturing starting from 6 jobs and ended on approximately 2 .
In stark contrast, Retail and Healthcare had the upward trend all over these years . Healthcare starts from 2 and reached the highest number of jobs by the end of the period in comparison of other sectors ended at 16 million jobs in the united states over these years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided an overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, the response is somewhat limited in its analysis. For instance, you mention a 'little fluctuation' for Manufacturing, but the data shows a more complex decline. Additionally, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated; rather than just stating trends, you could highlight the 'crossover' points where one sector overtook another. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are described with greater precision and that the overview captures the most significant shifts more comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'In stark contrast' and 'Overall,' which are effective. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'in comparison of other sectors ended at 16 million'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns or references clearly point to the intended subject would enhance the logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey the main trends clearly. You use terms like 'dramatic fall' and 'upward trend' appropriately. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are some awkward collocations, such as 'had the increased trend' and 'starts from 2'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'experienced a steady decline' or 'reached a peak of'. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also help you avoid repetition and demonstrate a more flexible command of language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the little fluctuation' (should be 'a little fluctuation'), 'in the Comparison' (should be 'In comparison'), and 'in the united states' (needs capitalization). Additionally, some sentences lack articles or have awkward phrasing, such as 'Healthcare starts from 2'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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