Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph shows the economy of the 4 sectors. Among them, the curve of the manufacturing shows on the higher level. It shows that jobs were highest in the manufacturing sector. Since [redacted phone], the graph shows an upward trend in manufacturing sector. However, there was a decline in jobs from [redacted phone]. Inspite of that manufacturing was higher than the rest of the sectors. It shows that in that particular country jobs in manufacturing sector rules. The graph of the retail sector shows an upward trend. It has seen an increase in jobs over the years. The healthcare sector and retail sector are both increasing at the same rate. And the graph is mostly consistent. But, there were more jobs in retail sector in 1960 than it was in healthcare sector. Despite that the jobs in healthcare sector increased over the years almost at the same rate as retail. On the other hand, it can be seen that the jobs in agriculture sector is declining over the years and there was no sign of an increase. This could be because the economy focused more on the service sector than the agricultural sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to identify trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks a clear overview. The student describes individual trends but fails to synthesize the information effectively or highlight the most significant features, such as the cross-over points or the overall shift in the US economy. The description of the manufacturing sector is repetitive, and the claim that it 'rules' is informal and imprecise. To improve, you should group the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that declined) and provide a concise summary of the main changes at the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized into a single block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of paragraphing to separate the introduction, overview, and body details. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'However', 'On the other hand', 'Despite that'), they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, jumping between sectors without a clear logical flow. To reach a higher band, you must use clear paragraph breaks and a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences and ideas more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There is significant repetition of basic phrases like 'shows an upward trend' and 'jobs in... sector'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'rules' to describe the dominance of a sector. To improve, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'surpassed', or 'experienced a downward trajectory', and avoid repeating the same sentence structures throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the curve of the manufacturing shows on the higher level' and 'jobs in agriculture sector is declining' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences starting with 'And' or 'But'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining sentence structure will help improve the accuracy and flow of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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