Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four particular sectors of the economy in the US over the period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare jobs were the only sectors to experience an upward trend over the period, while manufacturing and agriculture jobs experienced a downward trend. Furthermore, retail and healthcare occupations reached the same level at the end of the period.

On the first hand, retail occupations relatively recorded a high number of people in 1960, at just over 5 million jobs and reached approximately 15 million in 2020. Following this, healthcare jobs experienced a considerable increase, rising from approximately 2.5 million jobs in 1960 to 15 million in 2020.

On the other hand, manufacturing jobs declined significantly, as they fell from 15 million in 1960 to around 14 million in 2020, despite fluctuations, and peaked at 20 million in 1980. Similarly, agriculture jobs fell from around 5 million in 1960 to approximately 2.3 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting that retail and healthcare reached the same level by 2020. The key features are well-selected, and the data is accurately reported. To reach a higher band, ensure that you provide more precise comparisons between the sectors throughout the body paragraphs rather than just listing the data for each. For example, you could explicitly contrast the growth of healthcare with the decline of manufacturing in the same sentence to improve the analytical quality of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the first hand' (though this is a non-standard collocation) and 'On the other hand' to structure your points. However, the use of 'On the first hand' is unnatural; 'Firstly' or 'In terms of' would be more appropriate. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the growing sectors from the declining ones, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. The flow between sentences is generally smooth, though some transitions could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'fluctuations', and 'peaked'. This allows for clear communication of the data. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'On the first hand', which is not a standard English idiom. To improve, try to incorporate more precise reporting verbs or adjectives to describe the rate of change, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'gradual decline'. The current vocabulary is sufficient but lacks the variety and precision required for the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. Most of your sentences are clear and error-free, though there are occasional slips, such as 'retail occupations relatively recorded a high number', where the adverb placement is slightly awkward. Your control of tense is consistent, correctly using the past tense to describe the historical data. To improve, try to vary your sentence structure further by using more complex subordinating clauses or passive voice constructions to describe the data, which would demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

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