Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph tracks job market size in four different fields, manufacturing, healthcare, agriculture and retail in the United States over a period of eighty years from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, despite slight fluctuations, number of jobs in the wellbeing industry and retail market surged over the period while this number gradually decreased for agriculture and manufactuirng firms. Contribution of agriculture department remained minimum throughout the period.
First of all, maufacturing industry contributed in the economy by offering 15 million jobs in 1960. The number surged drastically for the next 20 years and peaked at 20 million in 1980 before decreasing to just below 15 million at the end of the provided time period.
Furthermore, almost 5 million people have worked in retail and agriculture sectors. The number then dropped to almost 0.5 million for agriculture in 1980 and then remained almost constant and ended at just below 0.5 in 2020. Whereas, this number constantly increased for retail market and peaked at just above 15 million jobs in 2020.
Moreover, Healthcare industry has also shared the same trend as of retail sector started from offering 0.5 million jobs in 1960 and and reached to same number as healthcare in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare and retail reached the same number in 2020, but the graph shows them at different levels. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend is slightly imprecise regarding the peak and end points. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely from the axes and that comparisons are clearly supported by the figures provided. The overview is present but could be more concise.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Whereas' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the overall trend to specific sectoral details. To reach a higher band, ensure that the referencing is precise; for example, in the final paragraph, the comparison between healthcare and retail is slightly confusing due to the lack of clear subject reference.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surged', 'fluctuations', and 'remained constant'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'manufactuirng', 'maufacturing', and 'wellbeing' (which is not the most precise term for the healthcare sector). Some word choices are slightly awkward, such as 'agriculture department' instead of 'agricultural sector'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for economic data and proofread carefully to eliminate spelling mistakes, which currently limit the score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'number of jobs... surged' (missing article), 'Healthcare industry has also shared the same trend as of retail sector' (awkward phrasing), and 'and and' (repetition). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with article usage throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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