Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph underneath illustrates information about the number of careers in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020. Overall, it can be noted that two of the four sectors has seen a rise while one has seen a increase with a decrease too, the last sector can also be shown to decrease in the beginning, stabilize and then decrease again.

Retail can be seen to have around 6 jobs in the millions for the year 1960 and can also be noted to steadily increase over the next few years, ending at around 16 jobs in the millions for the year 2020. Similarly healthcare is illustrated to show a similar trend to retail, by starting at 2 jobs in millions and slowly increasing the amount over the years to 16 jobs in the millions by 2020.

On the other hand, manufacturing has seen an increase from its starting point in 1960 at only 15 jobs in the millions to 20 jobs in the millions after which it can be noted to drop over the next few years and ending at around 13 jobs in the millions for the year 2020. Agriculture is shown to start at approximetly 6 jobs in the millions, drop to 3 jobs in the millions around 1980, stay stable for the year leading up to 2000, and decline again to around 2 jobs in the millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, the overview is somewhat confusingly phrased, particularly the description of the sectors' movements. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the sectors effectively. For instance, the description of manufacturing as having 'an increase... after which it can be noted to drop' is accurate, but the overall summary could be more concise and professional. The data points are generally cited correctly, but the report would benefit from a more analytical approach to the comparisons rather than just listing the trends for each sector individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction followed by body paragraphs for each sector. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'Similarly' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by repetitive sentence structures, such as the frequent use of 'can be seen to' and 'can be noted to'. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within the paragraphs could be smoother. The overall arrangement is coherent, but the mechanical nature of the transitions prevents it from reaching a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends like 'increase', 'decrease', 'stabilize', and 'decline'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are minor errors in word choice, such as 'careers' instead of 'jobs' or 'employment sectors', and a spelling error ('approximetly'). The phrasing 'around 6 jobs in the millions' is slightly awkward; it would be more natural to say '6 million jobs'. To improve, the student should incorporate more varied synonyms for trends and avoid repetitive sentence starters.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as subject-verb agreement errors ('two of the four sectors has seen') and awkward passive constructions ('can also be shown to decrease'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence structure often feels formulaic. Increasing the variety of complex sentences and ensuring subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the grammatical quality of the writing.

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