Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. These sectors include manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. Overall, the retail and healthcare sectors reached similar endpoint highs, whereas the manufacturing sector generally declined.
In 1960, the retail sector began at almost 6 million, it increased to 10 million in 1980, then increased steadily and reached 15 million in 2000 also, the healthcare sector started at approximately 2 million in 1960 it climbed to 5 million in 1980 then it level up at almost 11 million in 2000 and both departments of retail and healthcare rose to 15 million in 2020. Furthermore, the department of agriculture began at 6 million in 1990 but fluctuated and fell by year and reached almost 3 million.
The department of manufacturing started with a high ratio of 15 million in 1960. Afterward it stood at 20 million in 1980, then decreased in 2000 to almost 17 million, and reported around 13 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state agriculture began in 1990, whereas the graph shows 1960. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, as the data points mentioned do not align clearly with the visual information provided. While you have attempted to summarize the main features, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that every figure cited is carefully cross-referenced with the graph to avoid factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a report. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'it increased to' and 'it climbed to' are used frequently without much variation. Furthermore, there are issues with sentence boundaries; for example, 'In 1960, the retail sector began at almost 6 million, it increased to 10 million...' is a comma splice. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that sentences are correctly punctuated would significantly enhance the flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'declined', and 'sectors'. However, the word choice is occasionally imprecise or unnatural, such as using 'departments' to refer to economic sectors and 'level up' to describe a trend. There is also a lack of variety in the verbs used to describe trends. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid repeating the same basic verbs. Focusing on precise terminology related to data analysis will help you convey information more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include run-on sentences, comma splices, and incorrect verb tenses or forms (e.g., 'it level up'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that you are using appropriate punctuation to separate independent clauses. Practicing the construction of complex sentences will also help you demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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