Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, in the year 1960 till 2020 in which all the data is in figures. Overall, healthcare was dominant, however Agriculture was at lowest.
Looking first at healthcare, the figure increased steadily from 1 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020. In contrast, Agriculture started at 5 million and declined gradually to approximately 1 million over the same time period.
Turning to other figures, jobs in retail sector increased slowly from 5 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020. Whereas, manufacturing industry saw a spike in 1980 from 15 million to 20 million but it declined gradually from 20 million to 12 million in 2020.
In 1980, healthcare had 5 million jobs, while retail had 10 million. Manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at 20 million. In 2000, jobs in healthcare steadily increased to 11 million, while retail reached to 15 million. Manufacturing fell to 17 million, while agricultural jobs remained the same.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state that healthcare increased from 1 million to 15 million, but the graph shows it starting higher and ending at a different point. Additionally, the final paragraph introduces specific data points for 1980 and 2000 that feel disconnected from the previous analytical flow, making the summary feel more like a list of figures rather than a cohesive report of main trends. To improve, focus on grouping data by trends (e.g., sectors that grew vs. those that declined) rather than listing years chronologically.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast', 'Turning to', and 'Whereas' to link ideas. However, the transition between the third and fourth paragraphs is abrupt. The final paragraph feels somewhat repetitive, as it revisits 1980 and 2000 after you have already discussed the overall trends. The logical progression could be improved by integrating these specific data points into the thematic paragraphs rather than isolating them at the end. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow lacks a sophisticated, unified narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dominant', 'steadily', 'gradually', and 'spike'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are minor issues with word choice, such as 'in the year 1960 till 2020' (which is grammatically awkward) and 'reached to 15 million' (the verb 'reach' does not take a preposition). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure that collocations are used accurately to describe statistical trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'in the year 1960 till 2020' should be 'from 1960 to 2020'. You also have issues with article usage, such as 'Agriculture was at lowest' (should be 'the lowest'). There is also a lack of consistency in tense usage when describing historical data. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions with statistical verbs.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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