Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below represents the amount of job opportunities in four economical sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020. In overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector and agriculture sector seems to be declining while it is increasing in case of retail and healthcare.

Getting back to the details, the manufacturing sector had most number of jobs in 1960s while the healthcare sector had the least. The manufacturing sector climbed up during [redacted phone]s and after that it gradually declined. Meanwhile the retail sector progressively increased during [redacted phone]s and after that it seems to be slightly increasing.

Talking about agricultural sector, it has gradually decreased since 1960 to 2020. Also the line graph of healthcare sector shows its significant increment from 1960 to 2020.

In conclusion, we can say that in 2020 the most number of job available are in retail and healthcare while the agriculture sector is at risk if we talk about the job market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it identifies the general trends, it lacks a clear, integrated summary of the most significant changes. The data reporting is generally accurate, but some descriptions are vague, such as 'most number of jobs' or 'significant increment', which lack specific data points to support the claims. To improve, ensure that key figures are included to illustrate the trends described, as this is essential for a Task 1 response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Meanwhile', 'Talking about', 'In conclusion'). Additionally, the referencing is occasionally awkward, such as 'in case of retail and healthcare'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would help the flow of the response and elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'economical sectors' (should be 'economic sectors') and 'most number of jobs' (should be 'highest number of jobs'). The phrasing is often repetitive, relying on simple descriptors like 'increased' or 'declined'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for trends and ensure correct collocations are used throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'In overall' (should be 'Overall'), '1960-200s' (a typo), and 'the most number of job available' (should be 'the highest number of jobs available'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. The control over articles and pluralisation is inconsistent. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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