Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the graph illustrate that the jobs in multiple sectors in the financial system in united states in the middle of 1960 and 2020 .the manufacturing was at the peak while the
healthcare was at lowest in the jobs in the united states.
in 1960 the manufacturing offer 15 million of jobs in the finical system its surged to 20 million jobs while it start decreasing by the end of 2020 however healthcare in 1960 were giving the occupation to only 3 million of the worker while its trend start rising though out the decades ,by the 2020 it has successfully covered the 17 million jobs.
the rails and agriculture was laying at same ratio which was 8 million .retail grow by 50% ,job opportunities in the field of agricultural lessened by the 50% in 1980. the trends follows the same in both cases. main while in 2020 the retail rose up and reached to the 12 millions jobs, the agricultural side sharply decline by the 2.5 million in the financial system in the united sates.
the trend of jobs in the manufacture was at its peak and agricultural field was laying at its lowest in the united states
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the data but struggles with accuracy and clarity. While you identify the four sectors, the description of the trends is often confusing or factually inconsistent with the graph (e.g., stating manufacturing was at its peak in 1960 when the graph shows it peaking later). The overview is weak, and the comparison between sectors lacks precision. To improve, ensure you clearly distinguish between the starting and ending points and highlight the most significant trends rather than listing data points in a way that obscures the overall picture. The conclusion repeats information already stated rather than synthesizing the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt or missing, making it difficult to follow the comparison between sectors. For example, the jump from discussing manufacturing and healthcare to agriculture and retail is disjointed. You should use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently') to connect your ideas more fluidly. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs needs better focus to ensure each one develops a clear theme.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'offer', 'give', and 'grow' to describe trends. There are also several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'financial system' (which is not the correct term for economic sectors) and 'laying at same ratio' (which is not an appropriate way to describe data). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'witnessed a sharp decline', or 'experienced a steady increase'. Spelling errors like 'finical' and 'sates' also detract from the overall quality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing offer', 'healthcare... were giving'), article usage (e.g., 'in united states'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or run-on, lacking the variety of complex structures required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. Focusing on basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for articles and plurals will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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