Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart graph provide details about the number of jobs in United state, in four parts of economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing is increased initially retail and health care rose up while, in contrast agriculture experienced a slight overall decrease. by 2020, retail had the highest number of jobs, whereas agriculture had the lowest.

In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employment sector, with approximately 15 million jobs. This figure then rose sharply to around 20 million in 1980, before falling gradually to 18 million in 2000, and 14 million in 2020. on other hand retail, started at roughly 6 millions job and increased steadily 10 million in 1980 and 15 approximately 15 million in 2000. by 2020, it has further approximately at 18 million.

Healthcare also show a significant upward trend throughout the period. it is increased about 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, before rising it can 12 million jobs in 20000, and 16 million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture followed a relatively stable but slightly decline pattern. 6 million jobs in 1960 and approximately 3 million in 1980, remained about 4 million in 2000, while, again 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task and identifies the main trends for each sector. You successfully highlighted the overall increase in retail and healthcare, the decline in agriculture, and the fluctuating pattern of manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly cluttered, and some data points are imprecise (e.g., 'it is increased about 2 million'). To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant trends without listing too many specific figures, which are better suited for the body paragraphs. The data reporting is generally accurate, though the inclusion of '20000' as a year is a clear typographical error that affects the precision of your reporting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Overall', and 'whereas' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'it is increased about 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million'. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or slightly forced. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother, avoiding fragmented or run-on structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment sector', 'upward trend', and 'fluctuating'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'rose up', 'remained about 4 million', and 'it has further approximately at 18 million'. These errors occasionally make the text feel unnatural. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise verbs and adverbs to describe trends (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'gradual decline') and ensure that your prepositions are used correctly with numerical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The bar chart graph provide', 'manufacturing is increased', 'it is increased about 2 million'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. These errors are noticeable and occasionally impede the flow of reading. To improve, pay closer attention to basic sentence construction and proofread for tense consistency, as these errors currently limit your score in this criterion.

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