Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart provides details about the number of jobs in the United state, in four parts of the economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing increased initially retail and health care rose up while, in contrast agriculture experienced a slight overall decrease. By 2020, retail had the highest number of jobs, whereas agriculture had the lowest.
In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employment sector, with approximately 15 million jobs. This figure then rose sharply to around 20 million in 1980, before falling gradually to 18 million in 2000, and 14 million in 2020. on the other hand retail, started at roughly 6 million jobs and increased steadily to 10 million in 1980 and 15 approximately 15 million in 2000. by 2020, it has further approximately at 18 million.
Healthcare also showed a significant upward trend throughout the period. it is increased from about 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, before rising to 12 million jobs in 2000, and 16 million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture followed a relatively stable but slight decline pattern. 6 million jobs in 1960 and approximately 3 million in 1980, remained about 4 million in 2000, while, again 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis could be improved by making more direct comparisons between sectors at specific points in time, rather than just listing data for each category individually. The overview is present but could be more integrated into the structure. Overall, you have provided a solid summary of the data provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'on the other hand' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the punctuation around some cohesive devices is inconsistent, which slightly affects the overall readability of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment sector', 'upward trend', and 'steady increase'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'rose up' instead of 'rose' or 'it is increased' which is grammatically incorrect. While you attempt to use a variety of descriptive language, some of the phrasing is repetitive. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding basic errors in word form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'in the United state' (capitalization/pluralization), 'it is increased' (incorrect verb tense/passive voice usage), and inconsistent capitalization at the start of sentences (e.g., 'on the other hand', 'by 2020'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent sentence punctuation will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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