Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar chart provides details about the number of jobs in the United States, in four parts of the economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing increased initially retail and health care rose up while, in contrast agriculture experienced a slight overall decrease. By 2020, retail had the highest number of jobs, whereas agriculture had the lowest.
In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employment sector, with approximately 15 million jobs. This figure then rose sharply to around 20 million in 1980, before falling gradually to 18 million in 2000, and 14 million in 2020. On the other hand retail, started at roughly 6 million jobs and increased steadily to 10 million in 1980 and 15 approximately 15 million in 2000. By 2020, it had reached at 18 million.
Healthcare also showed a significant upward trend throughout the period. It increased from about 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, before rising to 12 million jobs in 2000, and 16 million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture followed a relatively stable but slight decline pattern. 6 million jobs in 1960 and approximately 3 million in 1980, remained about 4 million in 2000, while, again 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response successfully identifies the main features and trends of the four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported the key points with data from the graph. However, the report could be improved by ensuring more precise comparisons between sectors at specific time intervals. For instance, while you mention the final figures for 2020, explicitly contrasting the growth rates of healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing would have strengthened the analysis. The information is accurate and covers all parts of the prompt, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast,' 'On the other hand,' and 'before falling gradually' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or missing punctuation, such as in the second paragraph where the flow between 'manufacturing increased' and 'retail and health care' is abrupt. Improving the use of linking phrases and ensuring consistent paragraph structure will help achieve a higher band. The progression of ideas is clear throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment sector,' 'upward trend,' and 'significant.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'rose up' (which is redundant) and 'reached at' (which is grammatically incorrect). While you attempt to use varied vocabulary, some phrasing is repetitive. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal phrasal verbs. The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as missing commas in lists ('manufacturing increased initially retail and health care rose up') and awkward phrasing in the final paragraph ('remained about 4 million in 2000, while, again 3 million in 2020'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do affect the overall fluency. To improve, focus on punctuation rules for complex sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout your descriptions of trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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