Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given chart illustrates the data of four jobs sectors of the US economy in the year 1960 and 2020.
Overall, The Retail and Healthcare sectors except showing trending rise over the year. Although people interest on manufacturing sectors falling, it is still trending with other two sectors. In agriculture sectors individuals have lowest interest inconstant with others.
In 1960, manufacturing was about 15 million after two decades it became 20 million which highest among all other sectors also after the year 1980 it has fallen and reached about 13 million in the year 2020. On the other hand, Retail and agriculture was similar in the year 1960 about 6 million. Therefore, in 2020 retails reach it highest with 15 million which is similar to health care while Agricultural sectors has fallen 6 million to nearly 2 million. Health care sectors was lowest in the year 1960 among other sectors, furthermore its constantly rises and meet about 16 million with the Retail sectors in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the rise in Healthcare and Retail and the decline in Agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The overview is slightly confusing, particularly the phrase 'except showing trending rise', which does not clearly capture the overall patterns. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more precise. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak and subsequent decline is accurate, but the overall summary lacks a clear, cohesive synthesis of the data trends. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most significant shifts rather than just listing individual sector movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and limited use of cohesive devices. While some linking words like 'On the other hand' and 'furthermore' are used, they are sometimes applied incorrectly or in a way that feels mechanical. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'it is still trending with other two sectors', where the reference to 'other two' is ambiguous. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring clear logical progression between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'people interest on manufacturing sectors' instead of 'interest in the manufacturing sector' and 'inconstant with others'. The range is limited, relying on basic descriptors like 'lowest', 'highest', and 'similar'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'surpassed'. Additionally, ensure that word forms are used correctly to avoid errors that occasionally make the text difficult to follow.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('Retail and Healthcare sectors... showing', 'Agricultural sectors has fallen'), missing articles ('in agriculture sectors'), and awkward sentence construction ('Health care sectors was lowest... furthermore its constantly rises'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and article usage will significantly improve the accuracy and readability of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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