Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line chart shows the data about the proportion of employment in different fields of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there has been a massive decline in two areas, manufacturing and agriculture. On the other hand, a significant number of jobs was introduced in retail and healthcare.
In 1960, the most number jobs were available in the industry of manufacturing followed by retail and agriculture jobs with the same number that was around 6 million. While, healthcare had a least number of jobs available than the other sectors, i.e.; around 2 million.
By 1980, the figures for agriculture dropped immensely from 6 millions to around 2.5 million. That number remained plateaued in 2000 and dropped further to 2 million by the end of 2020. On the other hand, the figure for the retail sector, that was almost same as the agriculture in 1960, grew rapidly and surpassed every other sector with around 15.5 million jobs by 2020. The healthcare industry experienced the same growth as the retail industry and figures for it reached the same as the retail industry.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the reporting of data is occasionally inaccurate or imprecise. For instance, stating that retail and agriculture had the 'same number' in 1960 is a slight misinterpretation of the graph, and the claim that healthcare reached the same level as retail by 2020 is not fully supported by the visual data. While the key features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data reporting prevents a higher score. The response covers all sectors, but the analysis of the trends could be more detailed to fully satisfy the requirements for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from a general summary to specific details. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'On the other hand,' and 'By 1980' are used effectively to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the detailed analysis. Overall, the information is presented in a coherent manner that is easy to follow, though the flow could be improved with more varied cohesive links.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'proportion,' 'decline,' 'surpassed,' and 'plateaued' used correctly. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the most number jobs' (should be 'the highest number of jobs') and 'had a least number of jobs' (should be 'had the lowest number of jobs'). While the student attempts to use less common vocabulary, these inaccuracies slightly hinder the precision of the report. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but it lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the figures for agriculture dropped immensely from 6 millions' (should be '6 million') and 'the figure for the retail sector, that was almost same as the agriculture' (should be 'which was almost the same as that of agriculture'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though the use of a semicolon after 'i.e.' is incorrect. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the text, and the errors do not significantly impede communication. A wider range of error-free complex structures would be needed for a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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