Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph beneath demonstrates the information about the number of jobs in the US during 1960 and 2020.

The four sector was provided jobs, and these sectors were manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

In first, at 1960 the number of jobs were about 2.5 millions, which increased over time and became at 15.1 millions after six decades ago at 2020. Moreover, at the second rank, agriculture jobs were offered approximate 5.2 millions at 1960, but by the time these job offers decreased through the time period, and became at 2.4 millions at 2020. Furthermore, the third one was retail jobs, it started from 5.2 millions and rise up, and became at 15.2 millions at 2020.

The last figure was manufacturing, it was one of all that when it was started it offer many jobs. This field was started from 15 millions and was offering more jobs than others. It goes on 20 millions at 1980, but after that it falls down and became at 10.7 millions at 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is missing; a summary of the main trends (e.g., the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture) is essential for a higher band. Some data points are slightly inaccurate or confusingly phrased, such as 'became at 15.1 millions after six decades ago'. The report focuses on individual data points rather than synthesizing the information to highlight key comparisons or significant shifts over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'In first' and 'by the time these job offers decreased through the time period'. The progression of ideas is somewhat repetitive, as each sector is described using a similar, formulaic structure. While the paragraphing is present, the logical flow between sentences could be improved by using more varied linking words and better referencing to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'became at' are used repeatedly to describe numerical changes, which is not natural English. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'The four sector was provided jobs' instead of 'The four sectors provided jobs'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning of the graph, it lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands. To improve, you should use a wider variety of verbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The four sector was provided') and incorrect preposition usage ('at 1960' instead of 'in 1960'). The phrasing 'became at 15.1 millions' is grammatically incorrect. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors limits the score. To improve, focus on using more complex sentence structures and ensuring correct tense usage when describing historical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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