Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line paragraph depicts the ratio of jobs in four different sections in US in between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the demand for manufacturing was higher, but with the passage of time this figure decresed steadily. Meanwhile, agriculture sector experienced a downtrend, while, retailor and healthcare section gradually incresed with time.
Now observing the graph in detail, 15million people worked in manufacturing in 1960, making up a leading figure and reached its peak of 20 million people in 1980, after this it start decreasing downward untill end of period constituting 14 million. Demand for medical care accounts for 3million in 1960, which was thw lowest point of this figure but this figure increased 5times which is about 16million.
Turning towards the agriculture and retailsector, there both are at same point in beginning represanting 6million, there was a reverse trend, individuals who worked with agricultre sector declined over 3million in 1980, it was levelled off during period. Workersd who wokrd with retailer section rocketed 3 times in 2020 then it exerience a gradual growth of about 16million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the peak in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, stating that agriculture 'levelled off' is not fully supported by the visual trend, and the description of the retail sector's growth is confusingly phrased. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in reporting the figures (e.g., 'about 16 million' for healthcare, which appears closer to 18-20 million on the graph) limits the effectiveness of the summary. To reach a higher band, ensure data points are read more accurately and trends are described with greater clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a Task 1 response. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Meanwhile', 'Turning towards', and 'Overall', but they are sometimes used mechanically or with awkward phrasing. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal cohesion within the final paragraph is weak due to grammatical errors and unclear referencing (e.g., 'there both are at same point'). Paragraphing is present, but the transition between the overview and the body could be smoother to improve the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use sector-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', and 'retailer'. However, there are several spelling errors ('decresed', 'incresed', 'retailor', 'agricultre', 'Workersd', 'wokrd') and word choice issues ('sections' instead of 'sectors', 'leading figure' instead of 'highest figure'). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not completely impede communication. To improve, focus on accurate spelling and using more precise collocations for describing trends, such as 'experienced a downward trend' rather than 'experienced a downtrend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('in US', 'in manufacturing'), incorrect verb tenses ('it start decreasing'), and awkward sentence construction ('there both are at same point'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the number of errors is significant and impacts the overall fluency of the writing. Increasing the accuracy of basic sentence structures and subject-verb agreement is essential for a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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