Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph depicts the information about count of the jobs in four different areas of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is readily apparent that maximum numbers of jobs in manufacturing area in most of the years while minimum in healthcare sector.
After analyzing it, it can be clearly seen that manufacturing had around 15 millions jobs in the first year .However, this figure increased slightly at about 20 millions in 1993 before fell to approximately 13 millions in the final year. By contrast, Retail started at nearby 7 millions job and inclined sharply by 15 millions in 2000 and remained stable till final year and comprised of nearest 15 millions.
turning towards the remaining information, healthcare recorded at almost 6 millions in 1960 and declined to close to 3 millions in second year and remined unchanged till rest of the period. on the other hand, merely 3 millions jobs were in agriculture in the former year but this figure rose significantly and reached at around 16 millions in the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the overview is slightly inaccurate regarding the data (e.g., stating healthcare had the minimum number of jobs throughout). The report identifies key trends, such as the rise in agriculture and the fluctuations in manufacturing. However, the data interpretation is inconsistent; for instance, the description of healthcare trends contradicts the visual evidence of the graph. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview accurately reflects the most significant trends and that all data points cited are precise and correctly interpreted from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'By contrast', and 'on the other hand'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'turning towards the remaining information'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the logical progression between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is functional, but the overall flow is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and some awkward transitions between the different sectors of the economy.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'inclined sharply by 15 millions' (instead of 'increased') and 'comprised of nearest 15 millions'. The student relies on basic descriptors like 'maximum numbers' and 'final year'. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns related to data trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'a significant proportion'). The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but the inaccuracies in word choice prevent a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'maximum numbers of jobs in manufacturing area' (missing articles), 'before fell to' (incorrect verb form), and 'remained unchanged till rest of the period' (missing articles). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in almost every sentence. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring that verb tenses are used accurately when describing past trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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