Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph shows data about the number of employements (in millions) in four different departments of the United States economy from 1960 and 2020. These four distinct sectors offering jobs include manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
Overall, the manufacturing department offered maxiumum numbers of jobs in the country, whereas retail and healthcare rapidly increased over the years and crossed the manufacturing sector in the last year.
In 1960, manufacturing department of the US has maximum number of jobs around 15 millions which then grow up and reach on it peak in 1980 with 20 millions employments. In contrast, retail and healthcare department start with almost 6 million and 2 million jobs respectively which gradually increased over the time and overtake the manufacturing department by taking the top position with approx 16 million job in 2020. On the other hand, healthcare department started with 5 million jobs in start which decreased gradually over the time and reach on it's lowest in 2020 roughly equal to 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you state the healthcare sector decreased to 2 million, whereas the graph shows it increasing significantly. Additionally, you misidentify the sectors in the text, confusing agriculture with healthcare. While you provide an overview and some comparisons, the misinterpretation of the visual data prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the graph's labels and trends to avoid reporting incorrect information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction and body paragraphs. There is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'On the other hand', and 'whereas'. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by the factual errors mentioned in the task achievement section. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow could be improved by ensuring that the transition between the description of the manufacturing sector and the other sectors is more seamless. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the specific details.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several errors in word choice and form. You use 'employements' (a non-count noun) and 'departments' instead of 'sectors'. There are also minor errors such as 'maxiumum' (spelling) and 'on it peak' (preposition error). While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'sectors' and 'gradually increased', the range is limited and the inaccuracies in word choice occasionally distract the reader. Focusing on accurate terminology for data description will help improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing department... has', 'retail and healthcare department start') and incorrect verb tenses ('1960... has maximum'). There are also issues with articles and possessive pronouns, such as 'reach on it's lowest'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over complex structures. Increasing the accuracy of basic sentence construction should be your primary focus.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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