Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020. The jobs are in millions. The four sectors are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.
Overall, Manufacturing had the most jobs in the beginning. Healthcare had the most jobs at the end. Agriculture had the least jobs.
In 1960, Manufacturing was about 15 million. It went up to 20 million in 1980. Then it went down to about 13 million in 2020. Retail was about 5 million in 1960 and it increased to about 15 million in 2020.
Agriculture was 5 million in 1960. It went down and in 2020 it was about 2 million. This is the lowest. Healthcare was 2 million in 1960. It increased every year and in 2020 it was about 16 million. This is the highest.
In conclusion, Manufacturing went down, Retail and Healthcare went up. Agriculture went down. Healthcare had the most jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. However, the analysis is quite basic and lacks the level of detail expected for a higher band. While you mention the start and end points, you do not sufficiently highlight the 'main features' or significant turning points, such as the peak of Manufacturing in 1980 or the intersection points of the lines. The overview is present but simplistic. To improve, focus on grouping trends (e.g., sectors that grew vs. those that declined) and providing more comparative analysis rather than just listing data points for each sector individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is very mechanical and repetitive. Almost every sentence starts with a subject followed by a simple verb (e.g., 'Manufacturing was...', 'It went up...', 'Retail was...', 'Agriculture was...'). There is a lack of linking words or transition phrases to connect ideas smoothly. To achieve a higher band, you should use a wider range of cohesive devices, such as 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Meanwhile,' to show the relationship between the different sectors more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and sophistication. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'went up,' 'went down,' and 'increased.' While these are accurate, they do not demonstrate the range required for a higher score. There is also a lack of precision in describing trends; for example, using 'the most jobs' instead of 'the highest number of jobs.' To improve, incorporate more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'declined steadily,' or 'surpassed.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses simple sentence structures almost exclusively. While the grammar is generally accurate and easy to understand, there is a lack of complex sentence forms (e.g., relative clauses, passive voice, or subordinating conjunctions). For instance, instead of writing 'Manufacturing was 15 million. It went up to 20 million,' you could combine these into a single complex sentence: 'Starting at 15 million in 1960, the number of manufacturing jobs rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980.' Increasing the variety of your sentence structures is essential for a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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