Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates change in employment level (in millions) across four key economic sectors in the United States between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the former two sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) saw a substantial decline, the latter two (retail and healthcare) experienced significant growth.

In 1960, manufacturing boasted with nearly 15 jobs after which peaked at 1980 around 20 after that point it began to decline, reaching to merely 13 in 2020. Similarly, retail experienced a substantial rise, increasing from nearly 6 in 1960 to about 15 in 2000. After which, it increased slightly around 16 in 2020.

By comprasion, healthcare started to climb, climbing from merely 3 to about 16 in 2020. Futhermore, Agriculture decline considerably, decreasing from about 6 to around 2 in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the response. While you have identified the main trends and provided some data points, the analysis is underdeveloped. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully capture the complexity of the data. Because the response is 24 words short, the coverage of the task is incomplete, preventing a higher score. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed breakdown of the trends and include more comparative analysis between the sectors to meet the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as 'After which, it increased' and 'By comprasion'. The transition between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow of information. While the overall arrangement is coherent, the limited length restricts the ability to demonstrate a wider range of cohesive devices. To improve, focus on using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'boasted with nearly 15 jobs' and 'started to climb, climbing from'. Spelling errors like 'comprasion' and 'Futhermore' also detract from the quality of the writing. To achieve a higher score, try to use more varied and precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'experienced a sharp contraction', and ensure you proofread for basic spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'between 1960 to 2020' (should be 'between 1960 and 2020'), 'peaked at 1980 around 20' (should be 'peaked in 1980 at around 20'), and 'reaching to merely 13'. These errors, combined with issues in preposition usage and sentence construction, indicate a limited control over complex structures. Focusing on accurate subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help improve your grammatical accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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