Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates and compares the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy namely manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in the United States over a period of 6 decades between 1960 and 2020.

Overall manufacturing sector stood highest of all sectors. Moreover retail sector have gradually picked up .health care sector have rapidly increased.whereas the agriculture sector have went down .

The manufacturing sector offered highest number of jobs i.e 20 million in the year 1980.and gradually it went down 14 million in the year 2020.The retail sector have offered 6 million jobs in the year 1960 and it considerably increased twice in the year 2020.The health care sector have offered 3 million jobs in the year 1960 , it had escalated to 15 million jobs in the year 2020. It had increased thrice as in the year 1960.where as agriculture sector had 5 million jobs in the year 1960 and it went down to 3 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is somewhat disjointed and lacks a clear, cohesive summary of the overall trends. The data reporting is generally accurate, but there are some inaccuracies in the interpretation of the figures (e.g., stating the retail sector increased 'twice' when the data shows a different progression). To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant trends rather than just listing them, and double-check the accuracy of the data points cited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of varied cohesive devices. The use of 'Moreover' and 'whereas' is a good start, but the transitions between sentences feel mechanical. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the paragraphing could be more effective by grouping the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that decreased). Improving the use of linking words and ensuring a smoother progression of ideas would significantly enhance the readability of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'offered', 'went down', and 'increased'. While these are accurate, they do not demonstrate the range required for a higher band. There are also some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'picked up' (which is slightly informal) and 'thrice' (which is rarely used in this context). Incorporating more precise academic vocabulary related to trends and data analysis would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail sector have gradually picked up', 'agriculture sector have went down'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of incorrect full stops mid-sentence (e.g., '1980.and gradually'). These errors occasionally distract the reader, though they do not impede overall communication. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and refining your use of punctuation to ensure sentences are correctly demarcated.

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