Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the graph below shows the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. There are four sectors that are manufacturing retail agriculture healthcare. In 1960 there was about only 2-3 millions jobs in the healthcare sector however in 1980 it increased to 5 million. after 20 years in 2000 it increased rapidly to 11-12 million jobs and in 2020 the number again rise to 15 million jobs. where as in agriculture field in 1960 the ratio was more than healthcare in 1960 that is 6-7 million jobs. on the other hand in 1980 the ratio fell down to only 2-3 million jobs and in next 40 years the ratio remaims the same. While in retail sector in 1960 the number was same as agriculture that is 6-7 million jobs however over next 60 years retail sector ratio also increased. manufacturing sector graph had been rised every year. conclusion in every year jobs in agriculture sector were less than evey sector while jobs in manufactuiring sector raised the bar every year and has highest number of jobs these year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and relies heavily on listing figures rather than synthesizing the data. The 'conclusion' paragraph is actually a summary of trends that should have been integrated into the body paragraphs. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector is inaccurate based on the provided data, as it claims it 'raised the bar every year' without providing specific data points. To improve, focus on grouping the data into logical categories (e.g., sectors that grew vs. those that declined) and ensure all claims are supported by the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response lacks clear paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow. It is presented as a single block of text, which is a significant weakness in academic writing. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices like 'however', 'on the other hand', and 'while', they are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The progression of ideas is disjointed, jumping between sectors without a clear logical structure. To improve, you should organize your report into an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two body paragraphs that group the sectors logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is repetitive and limited. You frequently use the word 'ratio' incorrectly when referring to the number of jobs, and phrases like 'raised the bar' are not appropriate for describing statistical trends. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'remaims' and 'manufactuiring'. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a steady increase', or 'peaked'. Focus on using precise terminology for data reporting rather than informal or inaccurate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('number again rise', 'manufacturing sector graph had been rised'), incorrect article usage, and missing prepositions. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with a lack of commas to separate clauses, which makes the text feel like a run-on. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that your verbs agree with your subjects.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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