Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the information regarding the number of employee levels in four different sectors - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of US economy over six decades.

Overall, the retail and healthcare jobs increased dramatically, on the other hand manufacturing and agriculture depicted in inwarded process.

Starting with the increased first, as the proportion of healthcare sector jobs were at 2 million in 1960 which rose upto 5 million in 1980 and drastically increased to about 16 million in 2020. Moreover, the jobs of retail department were at 6 million in 1960 which steadily inclined upto 10 times in the given period of time.

Furthermore, the manufacturing sector was at the peak in starting years about at 15 million and grown upto 20 million in 1980, after that it declined and reached at 13 million in 2020, while the minimum number of jobs were in agriculture sector in starting year (6 million) and decreased over the years roughly at 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state the retail sector 'inclined upto 10 times', which is not supported by the graph, and the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly imprecise. While you provide a clear overview, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that figures are read accurately from the axes and that comparisons are made more explicitly between the sectors rather than just listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Starting with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'increased first' which does not clearly introduce the category. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the progression of ideas flows more naturally between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'dramatically', and 'declined'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'employee levels' instead of 'employment levels' or 'number of jobs', and 'inwarded process' which is unclear. The phrase 'retail department' is also less precise than 'retail sector'. To improve, focus on using more accurate collocations related to data description and avoid inventing terms that do not clearly convey the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'proportion of healthcare sector jobs were at 2 million' (subject-verb agreement), 'upto' (should be two words), and 'in starting year' (missing article). Additionally, the sentence 'the retail and healthcare jobs increased dramatically, on the other hand manufacturing and agriculture depicted in inwarded process' is a comma splice. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct punctuation.

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