Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the tabular chart illustrates the numbers of jobs in different section of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall it is quite obvious that, retail was least economy sector. Whereas healthcare was highest factor in given time.
now turning to details, health care was almost 3 million jobs in 1960. the healthcare was increased sharply and reached at 16 million jobs in 2020. In 1960 , 6 million jobs in agriculture . But after that agriculture followed upwards trend and represented almost 16 million in 2020.
moving towards further description, manufacturing was noticed 15 million in 1960. in 1970 manufacturing was reached at 20 million jobs. the next couple year manufacturing was decresed sharply and reached nearly 14 million jobs in 2020. the retail was noticed at 6 million jobs in 1960. but after that retail was followed downwards trend and reached almost 3 million jobs in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is inaccurate. For example, you state that retail was the 'least economy sector' and healthcare was the 'highest', which contradicts the data provided. Additionally, you claim agriculture increased to 16 million, whereas the graph shows it remaining relatively stable or declining. The overview is present but lacks accuracy regarding the trends. To improve, ensure you carefully read the data points and axes before writing. The summary needs to reflect the actual information presented in the graph rather than making generalisations that are factually incorrect based on the visual evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'but after that' and 'was noticed'. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed because the data points cited do not always logically support the trends described. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words like 'subsequently', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' to connect your sentences more fluidly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors with similar trends together rather than listing them individually.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use the phrase 'was noticed' and 'reached at', which is grammatically incorrect. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'section' instead of 'sector' and 'factor' instead of 'sector'. While you attempt to use some descriptive language like 'increased sharply', the overall range is basic. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline', and ensure you use the correct terminology for economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, particularly with verb tenses and passive voice construction. For instance, 'the healthcare was increased sharply' should be 'healthcare increased sharply', and 'manufacturing was reached at 20 million' is incorrect. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences and unnecessary spaces. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and avoiding unnecessary passive constructions. Practice combining simple sentences into complex ones using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.