Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph displays the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy: manufacturing, agriculture, retail, and healthcare, in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing industry depicted the highest figures in early years, while it decreased in recent decades. In comparison, the healthcare jobs started from the least value compared to other sectors, and showed significant increase until the end of the period. Moreover, the agriculture sector faced considerable decline in its number.

First and foremost, in 1960 manufacturing had 15 million jobs, and this figure rose to 20 million in 1980, followed by gradual decline until 2020, when figure reached approximately 13 million. Moreover, the agriculture sector had showed decline in jobs from 6 million to just 3 million in 1980, it decreased slightly in 2020, despite remaining constant in from 1980 to 2000.

In contrast, the healthcare department was at 2 million jobs in 1960, and its value fluctuated to 5 million in 1980. Subsequently, the number of jobs in this sector showed significant surge to above 15 million in 2020. Additionally, the retail sector depicted a continuous surge in the number of employments from just above 5 million to 15 million in 2000, and it rose slightly above 15 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. However, to reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, the description of the agriculture sector's trend is slightly confusing regarding the 1980-2000 period. Additionally, while you make comparisons, more explicit comparative language (e.g., 'surpassed', 'outpaced') would strengthen the analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, and you use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Moreover', and 'Subsequently'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'when figure reached', where an article is missing. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow the information easily. Overall, the structure is clear and supports the development of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'significant surge', 'considerable decline', and 'fluctuated'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'healthcare department' (should be 'sector') and 'number of employments' (should be 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these occasional inaccuracies prevent a higher score. Focusing on more precise collocations related to data description will help improve your lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical slips, particularly with article usage (e.g., 'in early years', 'the agriculture sector had showed decline') and verb tense consistency. Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'it decreased slightly in 2020, despite remaining constant in from 1980 to 2000'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band. Increasing your control over articles and prepositions will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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