Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the frequency of jobs in each of the four sectors contributed in the US economy from 1960 to 2020

Overall, the consecutive four sectors are the major source of employment which has contributed subsequently in the economy of US.

In 1960, the manufacturing firms were the major element in the economy which had accounted for around 15 millions of jobs. In addition to that, Retail and Agriculture were held around 6.5 millions of jobs. Among the all, Healthcare were cumulative of just 3 millions of job,

In 1980, there had been a sharp raise to the manufacturing sector along with the retail and healthcare which accounted for 20 millions of jobs in manufacturing sector, adding to that 5 millions to healthcare and 10 millions to the retail.

In the year 2020, there had been a drastic fall to number of job holders in manufacturing sector accounted for 17 millions approximately, whereas the retail and healthcare maintained the upward trend. on the hand, the agriculture sector went below the par.

Finally, in the year 2020, the manufacturing sector subsequently falls further to around 13 millions of employment as a result in comes in the third place respectively, Furthermore, retail and healthcare had reached to the same level in terms of employments which leads to roughly around 16.5 millions approximately

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For instance, you mention 2020 twice with conflicting data, and the description of trends is sometimes confusing, such as stating the manufacturing sector 'subsequently falls further' after already describing a 'drastic fall'. While you identify the four sectors, the lack of clarity in reporting the data points and the repetition of the year 2020 hinder the overall impact. To improve, ensure that you present a clear overview of the trends and verify that your data points align accurately with the graph provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'on the hand' (likely meant 'on the other hand') and 'in addition to that'. The transition between paragraphs is disjointed, particularly the final paragraph which repeats information already covered. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of the trends over the 60-year period. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on repetitive phrases like 'accounted for' and 'number of jobs'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'frequency of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'), 'cumulative of' (should be 'totalled'), and 'went below the par'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or varied vocabulary limits the score. Incorporating more precise terminology related to trends and economic sectors would enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('had been a sharp raise'), subject-verb agreement ('Healthcare were cumulative'), and awkward phrasing ('in comes in the third place'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing full stops and incorrect comma usage. These errors occur frequently and occasionally impede the flow of reading. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency would significantly improve your accuracy.

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